Faces

Tonight I was able to catch up with a friend, as I described how I was waiting for Dad to pursue me and understanding His love for me, my friend had this smirk. Later I discovered my friend is so in love with Dad right now. Honestly, coming from some people I would view this as condescending or judgmental. In this case I saw it as being genuinely glad for me that I was in this process and truly in love with Dad at the same time. I've never been "in love" with a human before, but I have watched many couples in love.

I want to understand this with God- to know what it means to be in love with Him. I see from my friend, and my own life these days that an awareness of God's love can be a result of sharing this with others. What I can sometimes view as a duty really is God's way of reminding me what he thinks, and feels towards me. Tonight, not only was a blessed with this reality but also a picture, in my friends face, of what it is to experience God's love.

Show Me

lyrics by John Legend

"I realized as I lay down to sleep
We haven't spoke in weeks
So many things that I'd like to know
Come have a talk with me
I need a sign, something I can see
Why all the mystery?
I try not to fall for make believe
But what is reality?
Where do we go?
What do we know?
Life has to have a meaning
Show me the light
Show me the way
Show that you're listening

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Guess it's funny how I say thanks to you
For all you've given me
Sometimes the price of what you gave to me
I can't stop questioning
O God of love, peace, and mercy
Why so much suffering?
I pray for the world, it gets worse to me
Wonder if you're listening
When people go
Why do they go?
Why don't you choose me?
But someday I know
I'm gonna go
I hope you're waiting for me

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Maybe we'll talk
Some other night
Right now I'll take it easy
Won't spent my time
Waiting to die
Enjoy the life I'm living

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me"


Even the mere fact that someone else wrote this song and the Lord allowed me to hear it, something that in so many ways meets me where I'm at shows me that He loves me. For this I am thankful.

Comfort from the Confessions of a Saint

"Who am I? I have been told that I suffer the days of misfortune with serenity, smiles and pride, as someone accustomed to victory. Am I really what others say about me? Or am I only what I know myself? ...Bedeviled by anxiety, awaiting great events that might never occur, fearfully powerless and worried for friends far away, weary and empty in prayer, in thinking, in doing, weak and ready to take leave of it all. Who am I? They mock me these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, you know me, Oh God, you know I am yours."
-Poem: Who Am I?, 1944
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I must borrow from a friend today...who somehow often seems to be considering similar things.
These words are much more well written than any I could write for the way I've felt recently. Well, minus the fact that I am not often in prayer as often as I should be.

Freedom

Today I was able to make a decision to help someone learn what it means to live in freedom. It definitely goes against the grain for me and those who are around me and much of culture today. It felt great. I question most decisions I make, but this time I rest easy.