the beginnings

"Our cross is the point of our unlikeness to the image of Christ, where we must die to self in order to be raised by God into wholeness of life in the image of Christ taken place at the points of our unlikeness to Christ, and the first step is confrontation." M. Robert Mulholland, Jr.- Invitation to a Journey.

There are times I am sure an author is speaking directly to what is going on in my life at that time. This summer I was confronted by a growing reality that even though I confess Christ as Lord, my life can resemble that of a Buddhist. To explain: I often want to die to desires that are not met- thinking somehow this will honor Christ when really He is asking me to pick up my cross, and follow him- to leave it with him. Someone told me that as I purify these desires, give them my Savior, I will discover that what I desire more than these things is Christ Himself.

I make long term decisions that I hope will honor the Lord with my life, it's the simple things in my daily life that I will quickly sacrifice to lesser loves- but they add up over time. I want to record this process- of seeking Christ on a more daily basis- of making those seeming simple decisions to pick up my cross and follow Him. I want to choose what is unseen over what is seen. I want to create space in my life to know God more. I want to understand His economy of mercy.